What would my parents think of me dating a white boy? Did I overthink? Could I have done something different? Did my fear ruin the relationship? All these questions, and yet no one to guide me through them. This is something that has been weighing on me since it happened. I hope reading this can give you the courage that teenage me didn’t have 🙂
Today, I’m 21 years old, and looking back, that was one of the most insecure times in my life. I was insecure about what the white people at the metro thought when they saw us together. I was insecure about what the black elderly woman meant with her facial expression when she looked at me. Maybe they thought, ‘How nice of them to love each other,’ ‘What a cute couple,’ or ‘It’s nice to see interracial couples in Norway.’ Perhaps they stared out of excitement but couldn’t smile at me. I will never know.
All I know is I felt JUDGED. I felt judged for dating a white guy when there were ‘many black men out there.’ Judged for not sticking to my race. Why is it that we get looked at as being white on the inside just because we don’t discriminate when it comes to dating? Why is my blackness in question even though I live and breathe black excellence? – random thoughts.
I was a 17-year-old girl, and it was my first serious relationship. I had never had the birds and bees conversation with my parents. All I heard was that I would get pregnant if I spoke to guys, hahaha. I felt happy to like someone enough to call them a boyfriend. At the back of my mind, I always wondered what my African parents would think about it. They never directly told me which race to date, but it was implied if you know what I mean.
The relationship, for the most part, was full of laughter and excitement. I don’t know when things took a turn. All I remember now is not letting him hold my hand in public because of how the surroundings made me feel. What a foolish mistake.
Looking back, it must have been hard for him to be with someone who wasn’t mentally strong enough to hold his hand in public. Why did his opinion not matter more to me than those of random people? That, and other things, caused us to end the relationship, but it always felt incomplete. WHAT IF WE MET WHEN WE WERE BOTH MATURE? WHAT IF MY PARENTS TALKED TO ME ABOUT DATING? WHAT IF INTERRACIAL DATING IN NORWAY WAS MORE COMMON?
Below, I will answer a 5 questions that can help you navigate your relationship with your partner and your parents. Kindly send me a DM with your interracial story or tips on how we, as a community can normalize interracial relationships: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeganalbright/
What are some common challenges faced by teenagers in interracial relationships, and how can they navigate them?
Teenagers in interracial relationships often face challenges related to cultural misunderstandings and societal expectations. Open communication, empathy, and a willingness to learn about each other’s backgrounds can help navigate these challenges. It’s crucial to address issues head-on and work together as a team. There is a difference between fetishizing a race and loving someone for who they are as a person. Balancing cultural differences, family expectations and third parties can be difficult so I advice you prioritize open dialogues with your friends and partner. Seek support when needed and don´t be embarrassed to talk about “normal” life problems.
How can teens effectively communicate with their parents or guardians about their interracial relationships?
Initiating an honest and respectful conversation is key. Teens should express their feelings, share the positive aspects of the relationship, and address any concerns their parents may have. I understand this is easier said than done, as some teens hide their relationships for years before talking to their parents. This honestly makes me sad because it hinders the kids from being open with the people who were put on earth to guide them.
Find a solution that works for you and your partner, but I would recommend giving your parents a chance to understand. At 21 years old, I am still figuring out how to bring up relationship topics. Providing educational resources on cultural diversity can also be helpful in fostering understanding. Teens can highlight the strengths of their relationship and emphasize the importance of shared values, helping parents see the connection beyond cultural differences.
What role does cultural identity play in teenage interracial relationships, and how can couples navigate differences in cultural backgrounds?
Navigating cultural differences requires curiosity and respect. Teenagers can engage in activities that showcase both cultures, attend cultural events together, and discuss how their backgrounds influence their perspectives. This mutual exploration helps strengthen their connection. Teenage couples should celebrate and learn from each other’s cultural backgrounds, fostering a sense of appreciation. Open communication about traditions, values, and expectations helps build a stronger bond. Also, give each others parents time to come to terms with your reality. They don´t have to accept your decision but they can still support and respect you.
What advice do you have for teenagers who may face societal judgment or stereotypes in their interracial relationships?
Facing societal judgment can be challenging, but confidence and self-assurance are essential. Teens should focus on the positivity within their relationship, educate others about their experiences, and surround themselves with a supportive community that understands and values diversity. Developing resilience is crucial. Teens should ignore stereotypes, challenge misconceptions through their actions, and find strength in their love. Building a strong support network of friends and allies can help counteract negative external influences.
How can teenagers build a strong support network for their interracial relationships, both within and outside their communities?
Within their communities, teens can seek support from friends who share similar experiences or are open-minded. Outside their communities, online forums and social media groups provide platforms for connecting with individuals who have faced similar challenges. Reading about other interracial couples and learning from them can be enlightening. Remember that you are not alone in the world, and there is always someone else out there experiencing what you are going through.
I hope this message was useful to you or someone you know :). It would mean the world to me if you subscribed and follow me on other platforms to keep up with me on a more intimate level. The link to my socials: Instagram Youtube Snapchat
Yours truly,
Megan Albright
