A Reddit story
The Story
Long-term relationships are a journey filled with ups and downs, but how do you determine what amount of difficulty is considered normal? Reddit user (@orangethroaway) shared;
Hi!
Between the “if he wanted, he would” and the “through thick and thin” I am so confused. What amount of difficulties is normal in a relationship?
I have been with my partner for 5 years and right now I feel disrespected in the relationship, nothing scandalous, only laziness and empty promises. He changes his behavior (even in the long term!) when I ask him to. Still, I have to tell him exactly what to do and when (for example I feel like sending me flowers now would be extremely appropriate and I know he will if I ask but I don’t feel like asking, I feel like I always have to give instructions). I am tempted to walk away now but we have an amazing chemistry and honestly, I could see us married.
I don’t know what you are meant to fix and what is meant to be a deal breaker in a relationship. I feel like no one wants to share the ugly part of their relationship.
Any insight? Especially if you have been in a relationship for more than 5 years.
Edit: I broke up with him. I secretly hope we will get back together one day but I will be fine anyway.
When considering normal relationship difficulties, I envision communication issues, disagreements, and differences in values or lifestyle choices. These challenges vary in intensity for each individual, but in general, every problem has a solution. In the user’s situation, she mentioned consistently reminding her partner of gestures that bring her joy, such as buying flowers or fulfilling promises. I believe that if your partner genuinely loves you and desires your happiness, they will willingly do the small things you request.
It’s not solely about the flowers themselves but the gesture behind them—showing that your partner has been considering your happiness and acted upon it. Some individuals find contentment in different ways, valuing traits like financial stability and being a good parent over romantic gestures. Understanding and being attentive to your partner’s specific desires can indeed help navigate such issues and strengthen the relationship in the long term
Demonstrating how you wish to be treated by reciprocating gestures of love and thoughtfulness can be incredibly impactful. Whether it’s buying them flowers, planning a romantic date, or treating them to dinner, lovingly expressing your desires reinforces the importance of such actions to you. By communicating openly about why these gestures matter and how they make you feel loved, you provide your partner with valuable insight into your needs and deepen the connection between you both.
Fixable problem or deal breaker?
